i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
