Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
