i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
