The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
