one might say we're banned from that church
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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