Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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