I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
