More tranny stories later!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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