Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
