AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
