Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Yo dont text me then not text me
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
P.S. I can't hear my feet
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
