hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
