so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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