I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
my shit smells like andre
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
