he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
