So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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