Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
