dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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