You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
