Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My feet surprised me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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