i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
