I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
