I can tuck mytits in my pants
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
