if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm lost and stupid without you.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
