That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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