we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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