is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
