Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
