and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
