I want to have your abortion
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
