we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Randomize
