My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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