The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
