so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
