I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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