her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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