I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
