thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
