kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
