I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
