Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
