im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
