All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
