porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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