I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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