I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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