I heard we made out
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
