I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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