Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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