Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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