He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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