whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
