Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
