wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
