Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
