Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize