We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
