He is such a slut. More and more my type.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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