My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
