It's just like the Real World with babies
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
