do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize